Guide for Support People

This is a guide for support people. If you're trying to support someone you love who is dealing with an anxiety disorder, then please take the time to read this! The first thing I want to say is a heartfelt thank you. Perhaps someone close to you is dealing with anxiety, and you have chosen to support them on their journey to healing. That is incredible! This resource is for you to better understand how to be supportive of your loved one.

A Guide for Support People

*Anxiety is real.
- The person you love isn't going crazy, nor are they making anything up. The fear and panic that a person feels is as real to them as it would be for you if you were standing two feet away from a hungry bear or in the path of an oncoming tornado. For you, your system works correctly and creates fear appropriately according to the situation. For someone with anxiety, his or her system is constantly creating fear even when there is no emergency.

*There is NO timetable for recovery.
- Recovery is different for each and every person, and it should never be assumed that someone will recover according to a predetermined schedule.

*Educate yourself.
- Take the time to look into the anxiety disorder or disorders that your loved one is suffering from. Learn about the symptoms, common treatments, relaxation therapies, and medications available.

*Don't make the situation worse.
- If you are with the person as they experience panic, do not try to talk them out of it. Don't belittle them or accuse them of overreacting. Try to distract them, encourage them, and support them. Acknowledge their fears and emotions. Remain a calm presence and assure them that the panic attack will not hurt them and that it will eventually end.

*Celebrate progress.
- While making it to the end of the block or going grocery shopping may not seem like progress to you, it may be a huge step forward for them. Praise and celebrate each baby step. Recovery is a slow and difficult journey, and each accomplishment is a victory.

*Don't ever force exposure.
- If someone avoids a situation or place that they fear, never force them to confront that fear. You can encourage and offer support, but forcing him or her to expose themselves can actually make the fear worse. Allow the person to retreat when they ask to.

*Understand that anxiety can mimic serious medical conditions. - Symptoms of anxiety and panic can often mimic symptoms of serious and even life-threatening conditions. Do not berate the person for seeking medical attention for symptoms that scare them.

*Seek counseling
- Encourage your loved one to seek counseling if you notice that anxiety is beginning to overwhelm him or her. Attend counseling with them as needed to learn more, lend support, and encourage participation. A counselor will also help you to learn how to walk the fine line of being supportive without being so helpful that you hinder progress.

*Treat your loved one as an important and valid person.
- Anxiety can leave the sufferer feeling helpless, dependent, and depressed. Do everything you can to assure him or her that anxiety does not make them any less important to you. They may need reassurance that you still view them as adult counterparts, not children to be cared for.

*Take care of YOU.
- Supporting someone with anxiety can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. Often, support people struggle with frustration because they feel helpless to change the situation. Accept that you cannot change it. You can only be there for him or her, and allow them to recover at their own pace. In the meantime, make sure to take care of yourself and treat yourself well.