Thursday, April 19, 2012
Let's talk about Tough Love...
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Lynn Grocott discusses Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Guide for Support People
A Guide for Support People
*Anxiety is real.
- The person you love isn't going crazy, nor are they making anything up. The fear and panic that a person feels is as real to them as it would be for you if you were standing two feet away from a hungry bear or in the path of an oncoming tornado. For you, your system works correctly and creates fear appropriately according to the situation. For someone with anxiety, his or her system is constantly creating fear even when there is no emergency.
*There is NO timetable for recovery.
- Recovery is different for each and every person, and it should never be assumed that someone will recover according to a predetermined schedule.
*Educate yourself.
- Take the time to look into the anxiety disorder or disorders that your loved one is suffering from. Learn about the symptoms, common treatments, relaxation therapies, and medications available.
*Don't make the situation worse.
- If you are with the person as they experience panic, do not try to talk them out of it. Don't belittle them or accuse them of overreacting. Try to distract them, encourage them, and support them. Acknowledge their fears and emotions. Remain a calm presence and assure them that the panic attack will not hurt them and that it will eventually end.
*Celebrate progress.
- While making it to the end of the block or going grocery shopping may not seem like progress to you, it may be a huge step forward for them. Praise and celebrate each baby step. Recovery is a slow and difficult journey, and each accomplishment is a victory.
*Don't ever force exposure.
- If someone avoids a situation or place that they fear, never force them to confront that fear. You can encourage and offer support, but forcing him or her to expose themselves can actually make the fear worse. Allow the person to retreat when they ask to.
*Understand that anxiety can mimic serious medical conditions. - Symptoms of anxiety and panic can often mimic symptoms of serious and even life-threatening conditions. Do not berate the person for seeking medical attention for symptoms that scare them.
*Seek counseling
- Encourage your loved one to seek counseling if you notice that anxiety is beginning to overwhelm him or her. Attend counseling with them as needed to learn more, lend support, and encourage participation. A counselor will also help you to learn how to walk the fine line of being supportive without being so helpful that you hinder progress.
*Treat your loved one as an important and valid person.
- Anxiety can leave the sufferer feeling helpless, dependent, and depressed. Do everything you can to assure him or her that anxiety does not make them any less important to you. They may need reassurance that you still view them as adult counterparts, not children to be cared for.
*Take care of YOU.
- Supporting someone with anxiety can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. Often, support people struggle with frustration because they feel helpless to change the situation. Accept that you cannot change it. You can only be there for him or her, and allow them to recover at their own pace. In the meantime, make sure to take care of yourself and treat yourself well.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Search for "Real" Happiness
Friday, March 30, 2012
0 to 60... And stuck in a hospital!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
The Misadventures of a Full-Time Perfectionist
Monday, March 26, 2012
Don't leave me alone!
Over the past year, thanks to hard work, my counselor, and a low dose of Lexapro, my world has opened up once again. I'm able to do things I couldn't have imagined a year ago, and it's so liberating and exhilarating! But I still have a problem with being alone, and sometimes it seems as if the fight will overtake me. I had my very first panic attack when I was home alone, so that is a huge trigger for me. I'm afraid that if I'm alone, no one will be there to save me if something happens. Remember my previous post on shapeshifting? Well it has reared its ugly head in this regard, too. Once I began to feel a little more comfortable with the thought of being alone and possibly having a panic attack, the fear shifted. I was beginning to think "hey, I can handle a panic attack! I don't need anyone to be with me!" As soon as that thought began to take root, a new fear took its place. "What if I pass out?!"
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Shapeshifting
Next year will make a decade since my first panic attack, and I have watched my anxiety shift and take many different forms over the years. If I've learned anything, it's that anxiety rarely stays the same. It moves...it's fluid, and it has an eery ability to morph into different things at different times. Have you ever noticed that you "beat" one symptom, only to have another take its place? That's why I liken it to shapeshifting. For years, I was perplexed by the seemingly random onset of new symptoms after having conquered a previous one, and frustrated doesn't even begin to describe my state of mind at those times. What was I doing wrong? Why were new symptoms appearing? Was I destined to always live like that...constantly at the mercy of a never-ending stream of terrifying feelings? The thought was depressing; why bother working on something if it would just be replaced by something new?
Time, experience, and research gave me the answers that I wasn't sure I would ever have. To question why I have anxiety isn't the same as questioning how my anxiety works. I no longer ask why I have it or how long it will stay. I only concentrate on what it is, and how I can confront it. Here's what is happening when I conquer a symptoms only to have a new one take its place: I'm dealing with each symptom as it comes instead of dealing with the overall problem. Simple as that.
Think of this way: Your anxiety is the Godfather of the Mob. You keep taking out his hit men, but more keep coming. They're going to, of course, because the Godfather keeps ordering hits and finds new hit men to carry out his work. As long as you concentrate on the hit men as they come, you'll never be doing anything but spinning your wheels and living day to day. Sooner or later, you're going to have to start going after the Godfather himself; taking him down is the only way to stop the hit men from seeking you out.
Your symptoms are the hit men, of course. Your anxiety is sending the symptoms, and keeps changing them every time you master one. Oh, you mastered driving? Suddenly you can't go to the grocery store. So random, right? Not really...it's just your anxiety shapeshifting again. And no, you don't have to live like this forever. You just have to master the master...you have to take on anxiety and wrestle it to ground. So how do you do that? You stop fighting the symptoms. You stop trying to master them. You stop fearing them. YOU STOP OBEYING THEM. When you do that, you're sending a signal to your anxiety that it can send any symptom it wants...but you refuse to stop living your life when they come.
This isn't an "overnight" kind of thing, either, and I'm in no way implying that it is. It's a journey and a learning process...and I'm still on my own journey of learning how to master the master. The bottom line is that you become passionate enough to fight for your life! Fight for your right to live in peace! And always, always know that YOU have the power, not your anxiety.
Friday, March 16, 2012
It's better come the morning...
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Introducing the AAMH Blog!
Welcome! Many of my readers will start out coming from the Anxiety Ate My Homework Facebook page, so you’ll all be familiar with what the AAMH concept is. For the rest of you, I’m very glad you’re here. AAMH is for people suffering from anxiety disorders, of which there are several.
In the coming weeks and months, I’ll be expounding a little more on each of them and introducing concepts and ideas in regard to dealing with these disorders. Overall, though, this blog isn’t really about the technical bits of the disorder…that’s why I created the website. This blog is more to explore the feelings associated with anxiety.
I was first diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder in 2003. Since then, I’ve also been diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Phobias, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. When I first began to search for information about my condition, I was lost. There seemed to be vast amounts of information available, but none of it really touched on how it felt to have anxiety, and that’s hugely important.
The feeling of isolation is overwhelming, and the fear of being crazy is very real. I know, I’ve been there. If that’s where you’re at now, please know that you are not alone (and that you’re NOT going crazy!)
It’s going to take me some time to learn the blogging “ropes” here, so please be patient and stick with me. My goal is to make sure no one ever has to experience the isolation of anxiety again…and that’s why I’m here. AAMH started small as a Facebook page with a few hundred “likes” and has grown to a community of over 10,000. There’s now a webpage full of information, and a YouTube channel in the works.
Obviously, there’s a need for these resources! People are reaching out…and I am trying to make sure that they will always find a hand waiting when they do.
So again, I welcome you. My name is Tracy, and it’s my pleasure and honor to have you here.